Preface to a Twenty Volume Suicide Note

for Kellie Jones, born 16 May 1959

Lately, I’ve become accustomed to the way

The ground opens up and envelopes me

Each time I go out to walk the dog.

Or the broad edged silly music the wind

Makes when I run for a bus…


Things have come to that.


And now, each night I count the stars,

And each night I get the same number.

And when they will not come to be counted,

I count the holes they leave.


Nobody sings anymore.


And then last night, I tiptoed up

To my daughter’s room and heard her

Talking to someone, and when I opened

The door, there was no one there…

Only she on her knees, peeking into


Her own clasped hands