“In a sick world even the hale are sick. And we two, spinning our little life mostly by rote, seldom with clear cognizance, seldom with firm intent, were products of a sick world.”
An excuse or explanation? I think of all my love’s long lost. But of one especially (my friends know who I mean). Did I fail, did she? Or is it that this modern age’s apathy to True Love, that is to say to Compromise, Integrity, Loyalty, Patience And Passion, is a sickness manifest in Hollywood and Disney; a false world where lovers never quarrel and if ever there exists a moment of complacence, the briefest absence of Young Love’s euphoria bodes ill for the fate of the relationship. True Love, as opposed to Romance. Which is what we should strive for? And is either guaranteed sustainment?
I look to Jacob who met God in a dessert. They wrestled. Jacob became Israel and ever after pondered YHWH’s decisions. His doubts did nothing to degrade their Love. But, in my life at least, here on this human plane, whenever one or the other questions the object of their affection, there comes a rift; an ever so slight tear in the fabric of the relationship so small we barely see it until one day we awake and find the thread’s unraveled. The Gordian Knot in opposite. And we find ourselves too weak, or maybe careless, to pick it up and knit.
We became complacent. But why should we be enemies? The struggle that I’m left with. Was it ever really even Love then? Or just a pastime to distract us from the tedium of growing up?
“Considered even without reference to our belittling cosmical background, we were after all insignificant, perhaps ridiculous. We were such a commonplace occurrence, so trite, so respectable. We were just a married couple, making shift to live together without undue strain. Marriage in our time was suspect. And ours, with its trivial romantic origin, was doubly suspect.”